She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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