Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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