How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
No I am not eating basil off your cock
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
