yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
