This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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