i would punch a child for taco bell
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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