I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
