I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize