belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I wish I could teleport
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
