Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(614): View more from Ohio

You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.

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(314): View more from Missouri

Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.

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(516): View more from New York

she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.

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19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
Read it at the TFLN blog
(508): View more from Massachusetts

I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.

(512): View more from Texas

That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?

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(503): View more from Oregon

So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you

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(660): View more from Missouri

hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?

(816): View more from Missouri

yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward

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(614): View more from Ohio

Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it

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(636): View more from Missouri

They're giving you narcotics aren't they?

(1-636): View more from Missouri

If I offered to share would you come visit me?

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