No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
