After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."