yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize