Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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