I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
