Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
