it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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