Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
