you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
