Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize