I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
