wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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