i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
