her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize