dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
