She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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