so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
