I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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