I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
