Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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