I want to make a zoo with you.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
