addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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