lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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