wanna go halves on a baby?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
