I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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