Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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