I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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