Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
