So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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