this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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