Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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