Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
