her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
