oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
