drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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