i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize