Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I got her a Nickelback box set.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
