Rock
Scissors
Fuck
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
