There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
