Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize