I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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