this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
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I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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