Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
