NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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