don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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