why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you would pick up someone in the library
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
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Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
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Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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