She is in my trunk
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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