You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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