remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
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After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
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Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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