hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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