I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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