Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
